Mar 14, 2012

Timeless

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Thinking of You.....


Since you left the domain of my life, not a single morning has passed without your presence in my mind. Till today, I don’t wake up by alarm sound but my body clock tells me to wake up because it is accustomed to your whispers in my ear.
Early mornings used to turn into late mornings because of endless “sweet nothings”.

Now, mornings get late because I go after the trail of love you left behind.



Thinking of Me?


Already late, standing in front of cupboard choosing amongst purples, reds, greens for the day, I started having hiccups.
Before I could curse their timing, I uttered your name and viola!!!

Mar 2, 2012

Feb 29, 2012

Legally (Un)Loved

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Lying almost lifeless on bed, after making a compromise, she tried looking for love between the creases that appeared on her bedsheet.

To her dismay, the smell of love smelled sweat only.

A feeling, she presumed to fulfill her existence left her hollow instead. A moment of despair filled her mind with the time she felt loved without being touched.

She gathered herself in her own body, with a bruised soul only to have a look in the mirror. The reflection told her the truth of life; lock the soul, free your body.

Long ago, her soul was left and locked in his reflection. He, who dusted the dirt of life, brought her to the substance. The transparency helped her see the beauty of life and living it. They were a mirror to each other.

They broke the mirrors themselves to leave their crystal selves locked into each other.

………………… Retreating to the reality.


Feb 22, 2012

Baat se Baat - IV

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Main: Kya hum badal gaye hain?
Woh: Aisa kuon laga?
Main: Yun hi.

Woh: Tum yun hi na kehti ho na sochti ho.

Main: Mujhe lagta hai………. Humari muhabbat ki shiddat zindagi kay bojh talay kahin dab gayi hai.
Woh: Sahi keh rahi ho.

Main: Chalo….. Hum ittefaq tau abhi bhi karte hain.

Woh: Haan, ittefaq muhhabat ki shart nahi.

_________________________________________________________________________________

میں: کیا ہم بدل گئے ہیں؟
وہ: ایسا کیوں  لگا؟
میں: یونہی
وہ: تم یونہی نہ کچھ کہتی ہو نہ سوچتی ہو
میں: مجھے لگتا ہے........ہماری محبّت کی شدّت زندگی کے بوجھ تلے کہیں دب گیی ہے 
وہ: صحیح کہہ رہی ہو 
میں: چلو........ہم اتفاق تو ابھی بھی کرتے ہیں
وہ: ہاں! اتفاق محبّت کی شرط نہیں


Feb 10, 2012

Feb 9, 2012

Wash Away Those Years .......

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We were smiling in different directions; the moment our eyes met we stopped smiling.

Expressions changed and eyes left wandering on the floor. Learning has never been so easy, just like any instant recipe. A bit is taken out from strength mixed with heaps of willingness, coated in rock-solid pieces of heart and then keep frying your soul with unmet desires, till you are burnt.

Remember the walk we took under the drizzling sky and above soaked pavement?

I remember. Each step we took, each look we had while holding on to your shoulder; the most serene and maybe the most secure moment of life so far. We built a world within the world right then and there.
And then you broke it, broke our world altogether.

The equilibrium of life was lost somewhere in the middle of Sweet November.




Jan 23, 2012

Dec 17, 2011

A Futile Attempt

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God is definitely the best artist I have ever known.

There are hundreds of faces I can see at this moment on Dubai Airport and all of them own different features and expressions. Every face is telling a different story from heading back home to go on a honeymoon. Promises in making and kisses being sealed on them, everyone is equally hopeless and hopeful.

It just surprises me to find myself looking out for that one face, which is impossible to be found. Yet you are all over the place.

Or maybe I am stuck in one place for life.

Dec 15, 2011

While the fountains danced, I wrote.

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Sometimes you just need a hit, a hit strong enough to break you into tiny pieces.


This hit can be emotional, financial or even physical but it must break your personified shell so your true strength can come out and shine. One may be broken through worst of worst means, either he gives up or looks for means to gather himself and be a diamond. Why I say diamond? Because it’s a found amongst darkest and most uneven curves; once it is rigorously polished and shaped, it picks its worth.


We, humans, are more or less the same, we discover ourselves in dark and downtimes. That’s the only time when we literally shake ourselves to the core and surprise ourselves with a silver lining inside.


Once it’s over, nothing more can hit you or either you don’t let it hit you.


You become shockproof !!!

Dec 11, 2011

Frostbite

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Insaan se ziada khubsurat aur uski fitraat se ziada badsurat cheez dunya main nahi.

Khubsurat yun kay wo Khuda ki takhleeq hai, ek kamil haqeeqat. Jab kay uski fitrat main muhabbat daali gayi hai jo hazaar badsurtiyon ki wajah hai. Muhabbat kam ho tau insaan na-mukammal ehsaas liye phirta hai aur agar ziada hojaye tau………paani per tairti laash ki surat hota hai jo na kay ubharti hai na doobti hai.

Zindagi jumm jati hai…… K-2 ki choti per jami baraf kay jaisi jis k pighalne ka mausam jitna jaldi ata hai utna hi tezi se palat jata hai. Pighlane wale mausam tau guzar kar agay nikal jatay hain per zindagi behte bethte phir se jamne lagti hai.

Abb k palatna tau iss jami hui zindagi per peir rakh kar guzar jana…….yun guzarna kay koi nishaan baqi na rahay………uss doobay hue adh’maray jism ko bhi mat choona…….. iss baar hara’rat jala degi.

Nov 23, 2011

Freezing Past

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While reading “One Day”, I looked at time on my iPhone to decide whether I should sleep, and the change of date told me it’s going to be a sleepless night. Getting up on my elbows, I looked closely at calendar date counting years passed by; years spent well.


Fears repaired.

Inspirations instilled.

Aspirations achieved.

Smiles played.

Heart healed.

The night turned cold, hinting on upcoming winters and the warmth of my bed cover put me through a good night sleep.
I signature my past to ashes; it doesn’t worth more.

Nov 1, 2011

Epilogue

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ہر کہانی کا اختتام لازم و ملزوم ہے. مگر کچھ کہانیاں ایسی بھی ہیں جو اپنے آغاز پر ہی انجام کو جان لیتی ہیں.
اس کے باوجود ان کہانیوں کو شروع ہونے سے کوئی نہیں روک سکتا ....... ان کے کرداروں کے نصیبوں کو ملنے سے روک نہیں سکتا....... ایسی کہانیاں اپنے آپ میں عجیب بدصورت سی خوبصورتی کی حامل ہوتی ہیں.

ہم بھی اسی خوبصورتی کے پیچھے ہیں...... جو وقت کی قید سے آزاد لامکانی کی صورت ہمارے بھاگ سے جوڑ دی گئی ہے.
ایک خوبصورت آغاز سے بدصورت انجام کی جانب جاتے ہوئے ................ خواہشوں میں لپٹے، تمنناؤں کا رنگ اوڑھے ہمیں گم ہوجانا ہے وقت کی دھول اور دنیا کے گرد و غبار میں ........

ہم سے میں اور تم میں بدل جانا ہے.

Oct 31, 2011

Post - Confession

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You: I wonder how I will spend the rest of the days & nights without you beside me.

Me: Trust me…… time will make it easier for you. I will become a part of your day & night but not your day & night as of now.

You: How can you say that?

Me: I have experienced that with you. I am your feeling of luxury love…….. A luxury that is going nowhere; courtesy a promise.

You: I respect your opinion but with a disagreement.

Me: I know you are there for me, and I am here for you. Yet it’s not enough.

You: How?

Me: I want my breathing to smell of this relationship ………. I want this relationship to be the currents of my mind that create a spark between us……I want my eyes to hold on to this relationship as never ending dream……. My hands should reach out for this dream more often…… This relationship should sink into my soul.
I want our relationship to be anything …….

But a routine!!!

Oct 14, 2011

Khwab Kahani

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Hum ek khwab ki soorat zindagi guzarne ki koshish main hain. Iss beech main humein bahar se haqeeqat kay kankar aur zamane kay pathar aa kar lagte rehte hain. Hum apni si koshish kar kay apni dunya ko sath sath uthaye chalte hain. Sath chalne main takleef kam aur qurbat ziada hoti hai.

Hum ne sath chalne ki bunyaad hi apni umeedon ko paray kar k rakhi thee. Lekin ye kya kay ab hum umeedon aur mohabbaton kay chungal main phans gaye hain?

Wo dekho…..dekho…..humari dunya main darrar par rahi hai. Hum khuwahishon ki daldal aur aarzo’on kay bhanwar main ghoom rahe hain.

Hum kal nahi jaante per main doobne ki aur kho jane kay andhere jaanti hun. Aur hum jante hain k hum doobna nahi chahte…….. doobna tau marna hai.

Zindagi kay ander hum ne zindagi dhoondi hai.
Dunya main ek dunya banai hai.

Dukhon kay darya se khushi ka chashma phoota hai.

Naseeb ki raat se qismat ki subah-e-nau hui hai.





Hum wapis sath sath chalte hain, pass pass rehte hain.
--------------------------main geet koi kaise gaaon, mere honton per tum hanste ho!!!!

Oct 4, 2011

Sep 19, 2011

Obedience Overrated

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Today, when I opened my eyes I didn’t roll down the chicks. Instead, I looked out at the sky with thickest clouds and a shining sun playing peek-a-boo. My lips curved into a smile while thinking about the changes. Nothing is permanent but for once I want to go with the flow, to follow, with no guilt around.

For a change, I feel like breaking rules and being disobedient. For once I want to be “free”.

Obedience is such a deceiving term in my part of the world. Here it is interpreted as a sign of being good and respected whereas to me it is slavery; because it curbs my right to question. Obedience is to just bend down and give in to other’s will without mentioning your willingness or knowing a rationale.


It is very common around just that not many of us have noticed, that questioning any authority falls under disobedience. Whenever my parents used to scold me over something or try to force “because I said so” situations on me, I used to open my mouth and asked for logic. Hence never been an obedient daughter to them because I always dare to ask for logic behind any practice. Obedience doesn’t mean that mental slavery comes into being. We have a matter of 8oz which definitely wants to be used often than expected.

In this part of the world, being obedient means stay shut up and close your mind. In short, the connection between your mind and tongue should be disconnected.

Reasons, logic, questions will not be entertained because “we know better” is unbeatable.



Aug 1, 2011

Mulaqaat

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Tum se alag hone kay baad, mujhe laga ab hum kabhi nahi milen gay na hi humare raaste takrayen gay. Lekin main apne dil aur dimagh dono se bekhabar iss khush fehmi ko galay lagaye chalay jarahi thee.......... Aur tab hi...........

Shehar kay shadeed shor main, sarak ki dhool kay paar dekhte hue, janay kahan se tum bijlee ki tarha zehan main koond jatay ho. Roz ek hi raaste se guzarte hue, janay kaise tum barabar main aa kar beth jatay ho aur mujhe aatish geer ankhon se dekhte ho.

Kaam kay bojh talay, mislay nimta’te tum samne aa kharay hote ho ye yaad dilane kay hum aamne samne nahi rahay. Notebook kay safhay palat’te koi tareekh tumhe mere zehan per raqam kar jaati hai. Coffee ka karwa pan, tumhari yaadon kay azaab se kam karwa lagne laga hai.

Shayad main khud ko bhi waisa hi dhoka deti hun, jaisa tum ne diya. Ek khwab main zindagi saath guzar kar ab koi khwaab dekhne ki himmat nahi rahi. Uss khwaab se andhi aankhein sirf tumhe dekh sakti hain.

Main ghalat thee.

Tum se judaa ho kar bhi tum se milnaa mushkil tau nahi.





Written by,
K.

Jul 14, 2011

Baat se Baat - III

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“Ab kaisa lagta hai?”
“Takleef hoti hai”
“Kisi aur ka hone per?”
“Wo mera kab tha? Jo hota tau sach hota.”
“Tumne ussay sach hi tau jana tha?”
“Jan’ne aur hone main farq hota hai. Dil kay raaste andhe hote hain, mujhe maloom hi nahi hua kab main andhi gehrai main girti chali gayi.”
“Kitna waqt guzar dia tumne andheron main.”
“Kuch andhere aisi roshni se behtar hain, jo aankhon ko andha karde.”
“Aur ab kya karogi?”
“Dafan kardun gi iss muhabbat ko, jo meri qabar ban rahi hai.”
“Aur usko?”
“Us kay liye mujhe khud dafan hona pare ga.”

_________________________________________________________________________________

"اب کیسا لگتا ہے؟"
"تکلیف ہوتی ہے "
"کسی اور کا ہونے پر؟"
"وہ میرا تھا ہی کب؟  جو ہوتا تو سچ ہوتا."
"تم نے اسے سچ ہی تو جانا تھا."
"جاننے اور ہونے میں فرق ہوتا ہے. دل کے راستے اندھے ہوتے ہیں، مجھے معلوم ہی نہ ہوا کب میں اس گہری میں ڈوبتی چلی گیی "
"کتنا  وقت برباد کردیا تم نے ان اندھیروں کے پیچھے."
"کچھ اندھیرے ایسی روشنی سے بہتر ہیں جو آنکھوں کو اندھا کردیں."
"اب کیا کرو گی.؟"
"دفن  کردوں گی اس محبّت کو. .......جو میری قبر بن رہی ہے."
"اور اسکو؟"
"اس کے لئے مجھے خود دفن ہونا پڑے گا."

#بانوسازی  

Jul 6, 2011

Dove called Love

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A few years back, a friend asked me in a random conversation, what is love? I replied back, wo jo lamhe bhar main umar bhar kay liye hojaye (it happens to you in a moment for lifetime).

Till today, when people are losing faith in this dove, my faith is still unshaken. Day by day, when the world is getting darker in its deeds, love is only emotion which brings in some enlightenment. The idea may sound outdated but the truth is once you put on specs of love, first thing you get to see is optimism. So, yes, love is definitely not blind, dumb or deaf.

If I look around me, people after one bad experience start generalizing people and their emotions. Love used to be one of an integral part of one’s life, but now it seems to be moth-eaten. The older generation still holds it dear but those in the 20s and 30s are wary of it. They can listen to love songs, watch films about it but dread the idea of falling for it. Maybe we want the return of everything, be it an emotion even. What we need to understand is that emotions are not commodity where we can barter.

God made us with so much fondness that I am sure we have element of love running in our blood. No wonder, that when one’s element gets activated, he doesn’t bother about the boundaries of religion, ethnicity, sect etc.

It’s a free will.

Every aspect of life becomes positive and the goodness of humanity becomes apparent once you become aware of self- love and then selfless love. It is the only emotion that has the power to obsolete man-made differences and set you free.

Ye baatein, Wo baatein,
Kab humari batein ban gayi
Soch kay ab karna kya?
Dorahay se raah nikal gayi,
Palat kar peeche dekhna kya?
Kis ne dekha, Kis ne jaana,
Yun zindagi karwat badal gayi
Soch kay ab karna kya?
Hum ek dusre main kho jayen,
Dunya dhoond kay karna kya?
Written by,
K.

Jun 28, 2011

Honestly Speaking

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Some people wear their smile like a disguise. Those people who smile a lot, watch their eyes. I know 'cause I'm like that a lot. You think everything's ok, and it is . . . 'till it's not.



--- Ani Difranco