Khayal-e-Juda'gaana

Main hun,
Tum ho.
Per ab,
Hum nahi.



Kulsoom B.
February 10, 2012
12:51 am

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Fathers to remember !!!

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Few fathers can leave an impact on you in the most unknown and humble way. You don’t belong to them by blood but by care and concern. They can be your unintentional teachers of life.

Today on this day, two most influential fathers who are resting in heaven, share something common. S. Azhar Zaidi arrived in this world whereas S.Ahmad Razvi left this world today. I am not writing this to pay any tribute or speak too highly of them. For that their children are good enough examples.

I got to know Azhar uncle because his son and my brother are two inseparable friends. He was known to me as a very placid person. A tall and bearded man with tendered expression to put you at ease right at the time of greeting; he never got me nervous. It was not till he came to stay at our place in his last days before flying to the USA, I observed him closely.

Azhar uncle, as usual, stayed quiet but sweet. He was at a loss of his memory but still he managed to remember me as I was a regular face to him after lunch or at dinner. He used to get his things done from his son while I keep listening to his childhood memories and home town stories. He taught me to be a patient listener with a keen interest in the conversation. Uncle was living in a flashback which made me realize that man remembers only what he enjoyed most when his conscience is unknown, the time of carelessness and being free.

He made me feel important for himself by asking where she is while eating his meal. Watching him going through the ordeal and still at peace was a lesson itself. He made me an accomplished being when I used to bring a smile on his face by consistently listening to him and getting inquisitive.

While he was drifting away, his family hold onto him, I consider him fortunate and well paid for his deeds in this life.

Friendly, humorous, informative, palmist, accomplished naval officer and a businessman, that was Baba, as we all knew him since day one.

Have you ever seen a father who carried an aura around him? I have seen Ahmad's uncle. We could easily share a laugh with him about his son or tease her daughter along with him. I befriended Razvis from the beginning of university time and I don’t regret it. They represented genuine arrogance to teach you a lesson for life. Later, they transform and lift you up to the best because that’s what has been instilled in them by their father.

Ahmad uncle was an exemplary father for every daughter present on earth. He made me experience the respect, love, fulfillment, togetherness, and enrichment of the most sacred relationship, marriage.

Do I need to say more?

I am writing this down to remind myself of the time when I learned how to be a parent to remember. You both are treasured and remembered by the person you least expected.

See you in heaven!!!

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Partners Apart

"Life does become a little harder without a companion, but worst if a wrong companion."

--- My random realization

After seeing the ups and downs and disasters of relationships in my very own life, I concluded the above. Many argued that you are asking for too much in a companion whereas I stood by my right to living life with the right one. Companionship comes out of ourselves and not out of love/arrange marriage.

We seek the right companionship somewhere in our long list of compromises (moral or immoral). What we tend to forget that if love exists between the two, there is nothing called compromise but more of companionship. And companions never ask for compromise but mutual nourishment and fulfilling lives together.

In recent times, when I have become more observant and empathetic towards people, I see that incompleteness prevails and missing links can be identified easily. I have a strong conviction that if we choose the right person for ourselves, we not only will become better selves but build a better society. It is this missing link that leads many of us towards moral crimes such as infidelity, domestic violence, mentally disturbed generations, and many more.

The dilemma of our generation is that we know the nurturing, fulfillment, and consideration. And there is no harm in it. For a better and long term companionship, we all need to cultivate our partners.

Now the question is why we are unable to land with the right one?

Several reasons can make their place in my mind and that too genuinely. But one tops them all and that is we ourselves choose the wrong one. It is maybe due to our lack of human analysis, poor understanding of our needs in a partner, false belief in promises made by other (in)significant. 

Mankind tends to change as per circumstances and when we face those changes; we realize the blunder we made. So firstly, we need to know what kind of person do we exactly want and what actually makes us happy instead of others.

But wait!

It’s not only us. The society also plays a pivotal role here. Family, extended family, siblings, also mislead us and we fall into the traps. Our elders and peers tend to find life partners on their face values such as education, character, looks, background, job, salary, etc. What about the person himself and his adjustment with the partner? To avoid the after disasters, one needs to look beyond the material stats.

I pity many of those who are entangled in a relationship out of social duty, family respect, and children. In our society it’s near to impossible for a couple to detach if they are parents, despite the several differences they continue to face till end. I agree with this practice because what children have to do with elders’ mistakes. Let’s not punish them.

Each one of us has the religious and social right to choose our life partner and pattern both. Life comes once with all its grace and disgrace, be sure to spend with the one who can save you from the disgrace.

Love is all about having a companion who brings the best out of you; show you yourself that was unknown to you even. It is exactly like finding a pearl beneath the darkest beds of the sea.

Marry your explorer, not detractor!!!!

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