Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Mar 17, 2021

Mar 17, 2015

مصائب --- Masai'ib

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کچھ پرانے خط 
لکھے وعدے 
وعدوں میں خواب 
خوابوں میں تم
تم سے ہم 
ہم سے میں
 مکمّل الفاظ 
ادھورے جملے

مٹی کا گھر
وقت کا طوفان 
زمانے کا قہر 
زبانوں کا زہر 
لمحوں کی رفاقت
 حیاتی جدائی

دلوں کا صیغہ  
عدّت تا  قیامت.

  

بانو سازی 
مارچ ١٧، ٢٠١٥
شام ٦:٢٧


Kuch puranay kha'tt
Likhay waaday
Waad'on main khwa'ab
Khwaab'on main tum
Tum say hum
Hum say main
Mukammal alfaaz
Adhooray jumlay

Mit'ti ka ghar
Waqt ka toofan
Zamane ka qehar
Zubano ka zehar
Lam'hon ki rafaqat

Hayati judai

Dil'on ka seegha
Idda'at ta-qayamat.


by Bano B.
March 17th, 2015
6:27pm


Jan 20, 2015

کہانی تمہاری زبانی میری

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پہلی بار جب میں نےاس کو دیکھا تو مجھے لگا جیسے "وہ" سامنے آگیا ہو. اتنی گہری کالی آنکھیں لیکن بلکل خشک .....میں نے کتنی ہی بار انکو پڑھنا چاہا مگر ہزار غموں اور ایک ارمان کے سوا کچھ نہ دکھا.

اسے اجنبیوں سے کچھ خاص شغف نہیں لیکن پھر بھی وہ  رش میں خود کو روز کھونے اور کھوجنے دونوں کی کوشش کرتا  ہے. عجیب سا انسان ہے بالکل میرے جیسا .....جیسے فرشتوں نے ایک ہی خمیر سے اسکو اور مجھکو بنایا بس مجھے پہلے نازل کردیا.

کچھ لوگ اپنی مسکراہٹ سے لوگوں کو اپنی طرف مائل کرتے ہیں لیکن وہ اپنے کڑوے پن سے......ایک بار غلطی سے اس نے مجھے مسکرا کر دکھا دیا، میرا دل ہوا اس  کے ہونٹ ہی سی دوں. اتنی جھوٹی اور طنزیہ تھی کے خدا دیکھ لیتا تو تا قیامت محرّم کا صور پھونک دیتا. 

وہ جو کوئی بھی تھی اس گہرے ترین کنویں جیسے انسان سے پانی کا ڈول کھینچ لایئ تھی......لیکن اسکو سدا کے لئے پیاسا چھوڑ گیی تھی.

بچوں جیسی ضد ہے....اور تلاش ایک دم انجان جیسے دنیا میں کچھ ہو ہی نہ ہو اس کی نظر کے سامنے. الٹی مانگ میں خواہشیں سیدھی کرتا رہتا ہے اور آڑھی ترچھی یادیں سمیٹتا ہے. 

آپ کبھی اسکو ملیں تو آپکو لگے گا عام سا نیم چڑھا کریلا ہے.

مجھے کیسا لگتا ہے؟
مجھے تو وہ ایسے ہی ملا تھا جیسے کسی آرٹ گیلری میں ایک کونے میں رکھا ہوا مجسّمہ جس پر ماضی کی گرد والی چادر پڑی تھی. میں نے جونہی چادر ہٹائی اس میں سانس چل پڑی. میرے لاکھ بار پوچھنے پر بھی اس نے تراشنے والے کا عشق نہ قبول کیا. 

وہ مجسّمہ ہی تو ہے جس کے خد و خال ہر کوئی چھوتا ہے ......کچھ تو پوجتے بھی ہیں.

میں بس دور کھڑی ہنستی ہوں......اپنے ہی خمیر کا عکس دیکھتی ہوں. 

وہ جس درد کے دریا میں غوطے کھا رہا ہے میں اسی دریا کی آخری تہہ میں دفن ہوں. 

  

Jan 19, 2015

جھوٹا سچ

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مجھے لگتا تھا تمہارے  بعد بھی زندگی ہے، محبّت ہے، خوشی، ہنسی سب ........لیکن اب پتہ چلا کے صرف سانس ہے اور باقی سب کھوکھلا پن!

ہر صبح اسی خیال سے جاگتی ہوں کے آج جینے کی ایک اور کوشش کرونگی، تمھیں بھلا کر کچھ اور یاد کرونگی لیکن رات کو جانے کیسے میری آنکھوں سے تم لہر بن کر نکلتے ہو اور تکیے کو گیلا کر دیتے ہو. تم کبھی یہ سب پڑھو تو سوچو گے جھوٹ کہتی ہے. 

شاید جھوٹ ہی ہو کیوںکہ میں نے آگے بڑھنے کی ہر کوشش کی ہے. 

تمہاری محبّت کو لفظوں میں لپیٹ کر، کاغذوں پر لکھ کر کتنی ہی بار ذہن کے تاریک گوشے میں ردّی بنا کر پھینکا  لیکن بےسود ثابت ہوا. بستر سے اٹھ کر سفید دیوار پر سے تمہارا سایا بھی مٹایا تو تم نے آئینے میں گھر کرلیا. وہ شوخ گلابی کرتا یاد ہے؟ میں نے اس کو الماری کے سب سے نیچے ڈال دیا ہے تاکہ میری نظر سے بھی نہ گزرے.....وہ الگ بات ہے کہ اس کی خریداری کی رسید آج بھی دراز میں ہے. 

دنیا آج بھی سمجھتی ہے کہ میری منّتوں میں تم ہو اور میری دعا تم پر ختم ہے.......نادان ہیں نہیں سمجھتے کے تمہارا ہونے کہ لئے مجھے کسی منّت مراد یا پھر قاضی کی ضرورت نہیں ہے. 

میری ذات کو تم نے موم کی گڑیا بنا دیا ہے. اب میں ویسے ہی ڈھل گی ہوں جیسا تم چاہتے تھے........اس گڑیا تک پہنچ صرف تمہاری ہے. دل سے روح تک پہنچنے پر جو دروازہ ہے وہاں تم دربان بنے بیٹھے ہو.

اب بھلا بتاؤ مجھے دوبارہ کون پگھلاۓ  اور اپنا بناۓ ؟






Nov 15, 2014

Selfie Time

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Being alone is not being lonely.

This is something I learned 4 years ago when I bought a ticket for Tom Cruise’s new release Knight and Day. Being a foreigner, thousands of miles away from home and stuck up in a hotel room I felt too sad and stepped out for a movie. Before that, I never knew how to watch a movie in the cinema alone followed by dinner as well.

In all honesty, the movie was crap but I was happy as I had nobody to bother me about the story, cast, acting, and the popcorn was all mine. Later in the evening, I scouted through random restaurants checking out menus, specialties, and finally settling for my own rendezvous with Moroccan food.

We meet people every day. Some of them are friends, colleagues and above all, we have a family as well. Hence, being alone for some time is very important. You get to meet yourself and the world around you. You must learn the world and its mechanics. By mechanics, I don’t mean physics, chemistry, or math of earth.  I mean the people, the events, the daily miracles, and a new thing.

When surrounded by people, one can’t make a decision or a choice without being influenced even if it’s as minor as having a Coke or Pepsi. One may end up having water only.

My daily life doesn't even let me hear the traffic sounds because I drive with windows rolled up and music. But whenever possible, I take a walk empty-handed and drop an ear on conversations on my way. I look at couples on bike immersed in conversation, making small laughs, waiting for the red signal to go green without any agitation.

I learned it’s perfectly alright to smile back at strangers just like children do without knowing you.

The world is huge and there are so many people in it with story of their own, environments to explore, even sunsets and sunrise can be different.

Spend time with yourself. You owe it to your mind & body.

When I am alone, I am not lonely. I enjoy the company of my own.


Nov 13, 2014

Love Undone

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Sitting across the small meeting table, she saw him for the first time ever. Maroon shirt, black trousers with a look fixed to ground he spoke nothing till the end except when the co interviewer nudged him if he has anything to ask. He woke up from slumber as if, and asked where she sees herself in next 5 years. Usually, candidates give long answers with significant vocabulary while she uttered “I see myself in your place.”

It’s been 9 years and memory is still imprinted with this picture.

She thought of this memory while sun was still rising and she could see from the corner of her bed how the dark was turning into light. Her head was hanging half from the bed and blood was rushing in reverse just like she wanted to reverse the last few hours. The light appearing on the infinite appearance of sky wasn't powerful enough to clear the darkness of her desires.

The dignity that she earned was lost somewhere down the trance of ecstasy; a painful one.

She stayed there watching the full sunrise and suddenly she realized a flush of anger in her heart. It was a different anger which will continue to be with her for long or maybe lifelong.

Imaginations, dreams, desires, all come thrashing into her heart. Laying in his bed they both turned faces from each other with trail of thoughts.

“I always wanted it to be out of love and not lust.” That’s all she could say.

The lust that not even lasted for minutes and never reached her lips!

The least he could do was to make her feel loved.

With every passing moment that day onward, she started sulking in the loss of love. Her smile disappeared with a fake curve on her face to avoid explanation of her blank expression. She betrayed her own self that night for nothing but a tasteless, loveless, emotionless frenzy.

She left his bed without her soul.




Apr 14, 2013

Note of Gratitude

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For the past few years, I haven’t spent my life without a sensation. My senses either went through love or hate or even anger sometimes. During all these years, I tried to desensitize myself from all those events of life which could take its toll on me.
I have succeeded finally.
I am deaf to the rhythm of life.
I am blind to the colors of the rainbow.
I am mute to speak of eternal pain.

Thank YOU!

Sep 13, 2012

Aur zindagi badalti hai......

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Wo ishq hi tau tha,

Jo junoon ban kar jaagta tha
Khwabon se nikal kar cheekhta tha
Boondon ki aag se jaltaa tha
Lehron per qadam jamata tha
Baaton ki khamoshi parhta tha
Angdai'yon main simat jata tha
Hujoom main ghumta dhoondta tha
Tanhai main lafzon ko bunta tha


Per ab apni dhun main rehta hai,
Ek alag zindagi jeeta hai.

Ishq hua juda juda,
Hum hue tum se rihaa.

Kulsoom B.Sep 12, 2012
8:22 pm
Picture Courtesy: Amit Richard



Mar 14, 2012

Timeless

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Thinking of You.....


Since you left the domain of my life, not a single morning has passed without your presence in my mind. Till today, I don’t wake up by alarm sound but my body clock tells me to wake up because it is accustomed to your whispers in my ear.
Early mornings used to turn into late mornings because of endless “sweet nothings”.

Now, mornings get late because I go after the trail of love you left behind.



Thinking of Me?


Already late, standing in front of cupboard choosing amongst purples, reds, greens for the day, I started having hiccups.
Before I could curse their timing, I uttered your name and viola!!!

Mar 2, 2012

Feb 29, 2012

Legally (Un)Loved

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Lying almost lifeless on bed, after making a compromise, she tried looking for love between the creases that appeared on her bedsheet.

To her dismay, the smell of love smelled sweat only.

A feeling, she presumed to fulfill her existence left her hollow instead. A moment of despair filled her mind with the time she felt loved without being touched.

She gathered herself in her own body, with a bruised soul only to have a look in the mirror. The reflection told her the truth of life; lock the soul, free your body.

Long ago, her soul was left and locked in his reflection. He, who dusted the dirt of life, brought her to the substance. The transparency helped her see the beauty of life and living it. They were a mirror to each other.

They broke the mirrors themselves to leave their crystal selves locked into each other.

………………… Retreating to the reality.


Feb 22, 2012

Baat se Baat - IV

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Main: Kya hum badal gaye hain?
Woh: Aisa kuon laga?
Main: Yun hi.

Woh: Tum yun hi na kehti ho na sochti ho.

Main: Mujhe lagta hai………. Humari muhabbat ki shiddat zindagi kay bojh talay kahin dab gayi hai.
Woh: Sahi keh rahi ho.

Main: Chalo….. Hum ittefaq tau abhi bhi karte hain.

Woh: Haan, ittefaq muhhabat ki shart nahi.

_________________________________________________________________________________

میں: کیا ہم بدل گئے ہیں؟
وہ: ایسا کیوں  لگا؟
میں: یونہی
وہ: تم یونہی نہ کچھ کہتی ہو نہ سوچتی ہو
میں: مجھے لگتا ہے........ہماری محبّت کی شدّت زندگی کے بوجھ تلے کہیں دب گیی ہے 
وہ: صحیح کہہ رہی ہو 
میں: چلو........ہم اتفاق تو ابھی بھی کرتے ہیں
وہ: ہاں! اتفاق محبّت کی شرط نہیں


Feb 10, 2012

Feb 9, 2012

Wash Away Those Years .......

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We were smiling in different directions; the moment our eyes met we stopped smiling.

Expressions changed and eyes left wandering on the floor. Learning has never been so easy, just like any instant recipe. A bit is taken out from strength mixed with heaps of willingness, coated in rock-solid pieces of heart and then keep frying your soul with unmet desires, till you are burnt.

Remember the walk we took under the drizzling sky and above soaked pavement?

I remember. Each step we took, each look we had while holding on to your shoulder; the most serene and maybe the most secure moment of life so far. We built a world within the world right then and there.
And then you broke it, broke our world altogether.

The equilibrium of life was lost somewhere in the middle of Sweet November.




Jan 23, 2012

Dec 17, 2011

A Futile Attempt

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God is definitely the best artist I have ever known.

There are hundreds of faces I can see at this moment on Dubai Airport and all of them own different features and expressions. Every face is telling a different story from heading back home to go on a honeymoon. Promises in making and kisses being sealed on them, everyone is equally hopeless and hopeful.

It just surprises me to find myself looking out for that one face, which is impossible to be found. Yet you are all over the place.

Or maybe I am stuck in one place for life.

Dec 15, 2011

While the fountains danced, I wrote.

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Sometimes you just need a hit, a hit strong enough to break you into tiny pieces.


This hit can be emotional, financial or even physical but it must break your personified shell so your true strength can come out and shine. One may be broken through worst of worst means, either he gives up or looks for means to gather himself and be a diamond. Why I say diamond? Because it’s a found amongst darkest and most uneven curves; once it is rigorously polished and shaped, it picks its worth.


We, humans, are more or less the same, we discover ourselves in dark and downtimes. That’s the only time when we literally shake ourselves to the core and surprise ourselves with a silver lining inside.


Once it’s over, nothing more can hit you or either you don’t let it hit you.


You become shockproof !!!

Dec 11, 2011

Frostbite

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Insaan se ziada khubsurat aur uski fitraat se ziada badsurat cheez dunya main nahi.

Khubsurat yun kay wo Khuda ki takhleeq hai, ek kamil haqeeqat. Jab kay uski fitrat main muhabbat daali gayi hai jo hazaar badsurtiyon ki wajah hai. Muhabbat kam ho tau insaan na-mukammal ehsaas liye phirta hai aur agar ziada hojaye tau………paani per tairti laash ki surat hota hai jo na kay ubharti hai na doobti hai.

Zindagi jumm jati hai…… K-2 ki choti per jami baraf kay jaisi jis k pighalne ka mausam jitna jaldi ata hai utna hi tezi se palat jata hai. Pighlane wale mausam tau guzar kar agay nikal jatay hain per zindagi behte bethte phir se jamne lagti hai.

Abb k palatna tau iss jami hui zindagi per peir rakh kar guzar jana…….yun guzarna kay koi nishaan baqi na rahay………uss doobay hue adh’maray jism ko bhi mat choona…….. iss baar hara’rat jala degi.

Nov 23, 2011

Freezing Past

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While reading “One Day”, I looked at time on my iPhone to decide whether I should sleep, and the change of date told me it’s going to be a sleepless night. Getting up on my elbows, I looked closely at calendar date counting years passed by; years spent well.


Fears repaired.

Inspirations instilled.

Aspirations achieved.

Smiles played.

Heart healed.

The night turned cold, hinting on upcoming winters and the warmth of my bed cover put me through a good night sleep.
I signature my past to ashes; it doesn’t worth more.

Oct 4, 2011