Status Struck

Me: Past is a baggage which keeps hindering my way forward.

Keens: Koi nahin past is the baggage u pack for your future trips... so you are well prepared :P

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Window Shopping

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Long ago, I asked my mother, what fun she gets from window shopping. She replied by implying, arey chaltay phirte aksar kuch acha mil hi jata hai. Aur phir burai kya hai dekhte rehne main?

I recently discovered that window shopping is not only restricted to malls and markets but invaded our houses ages ago.

This is called Bridal Shopping.

Aunties, mothers, sisters, and all the not-so-necessary females form this group and march into houses offering an eligible girl for marriage. These ladies have no idea what they or the man is looking for in a bride-to-be but they hop onto the bandwagon and visit an infinite number of houses. The rejection from this band of brutality has no basis since all they have to do is to eat, visit, and reject.

What surprised me most is being a female themselves, they let a woman go through the agony of screening and sometimes rejection afterward. 

In my small span of experience, I listened to some of the interesting rejections from guy’s relatives:

• Great Nostradamus sister:  “Ummm well, I think she will become fat after having babies” 
• Dettol Sisters on their 2^nd visit to the girl’s house: “House wasn’t clean enough. Her mom must have not taught her.” (I think they wanted a maid cum bride)
• Baby Bride hunters: “Girl is old enough for our brother. She must not exceed 24”  (heheheheh the brother is 40+)
• Material mothers: “Drawing Room tells, the family isn’t modern enough”  (I think they wanted the girl to do a striptease on their visit)

But winner rejection yet to come, readers.

Someone I know went for her trolley session and sat beside the guy’s mother who was some palmist. They rejected her because her palm lines were not good enough as per the palmy-mommy.

Imagine!!!

I mean do these women think even once before saying stupidest of statements to the parents.

It’s exactly like when you are sitting at a shop, having a look at silk, chattering about its texture, print, and price. While the salesman tries to convince you to buy, you throw away the silk and leave the shop saying let us have a look in the market and decide.

And why only blame women? Its men too.

A few days back, I asked a class fellow, why he isn’t married yet since he was complaining about how everyone he knows has babies now. He shot back saying he hasn’t found the one. I inquired if he has seen any girl for marriage purposes. Rest of the conversation is:

K: So what exactly are you looking in a girl?

B: Nothing much, I have seen many girls but something is missing.

K: Ohh so you have done your window shopping?

B: Well yes.

K: Still on the hunt? Why?

B: Just looking for someone decent and pretty

K: So you mean your family made you see an indecent and ugly girl

Let’s finish it here everyone.

May GOD give you the strength to be an item-for-sale and sense to the window shoppers.

Amen.

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Am no punner but a ruler !!!

Note: This post is from Feb 2010 but due to some editing mistake of mine, it has changed its date to recent. 




For last few days, news scene is hilariously happening. First we had, our MPA Ms. Samina Khawar Hayat who supported polygamy for a greater cause in Pakistan. According to her, Punjab government to amend the existing laws to allow men to marry for a second, third and fourth time without the consent of their first wife.

Mrs. Hayat thinks tendency of being infidel exists in men only?

But that’s not enough. Our jet black haired PM Yusuf Raza Gilani, gave an award winning statement after a woman gave birth in rickshaw (a three wheeler public transport) in Quetta city. The woman was on her way to hospital on an auto rickshaw when she faced VIP Movement of President Zardari. Mr. President was visiting the city for launching of some development projects, while leaving a common woman in labor pain because of VIP motorcade to pass.

PM Gilani thinks it’s no big deal if a woman is delivering a baby in rickshaw. While addressing in Islamabad a day later, said

“Bachay Too Jahaz Mai Bhee Paida Hotay Hain Rikshaw Main Ho Gaya To Kiya Howa?”

(We have seen many times babies born in Air Bus, now if it happens in Rikshaw what’s the big deal)

I got to save some screen shots to add flavor.

Somebody should give a wake-up call to Mr. Gilani that Quetta is a conservative city and it is certainly not ego boosting for a man to watch sister giving birth in a traffic jam. Neither it’s safe health wise, almost risking a life while giving out a life.

I think our rulers need to come out of their comfy zones to watch how their huge protocols add up to sufferings of commoners.

After the incident, every camera flash came over the new born and every mic directed to his relatives who went through public agony. But a senior columnist Mr. Hasan Nisar made a wise crack by advising the new mother to name his son Protocol Khan or Choudhry Protocol.

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Garbage is a Type of Men.....easy to find

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Thoughts on garbage while dropping the two missies at their office:

A: Sometimes you just have to ignore these types of men because you are working together for so long

K: I tell you what type is this?

U: What?

K: These are the type of men who don’t have sickness in mind or heart but they are made of filth. These are the men who think if a woman is stepping out of her house; it makes her public property. With due to respect to their mothers but these men are nothing but garbage and that is because of their fathers. Fathers who never respected their children’s mother so how can you expect such sons to respect any woman, be it their wife or mother.

A: You are so correct. Uhhh you spoke like an editor.

K: Thanks.

U: You drive fast.

A: (back door closed properly)

U: (closed the front door as slow as ever to do it again)

K: (sped off)

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Yaadasht....

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Saal kay kuch din aur unki tareekhein bari ahem hoti hain. Wo zehan kay kisi konay main posheeda hoti hain aur fursaat kay lamhon main ubharti hain.

Guzarte waqt, badalte zamane, palat’tee tehrir’ein, in tareekhon per gard daal deti hain.

Aur wo gard ya to un tareekhon se pehle chhat’ti hai ya baad main, waqt per nahi.

Main ye nahi kehti kay shiddat nahi, bus ab fursat nahi !!!

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Fathers to remember !!!

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Few fathers can leave an impact on you in the most unknown and humble way. You don’t belong to them by blood but by care and concern. They can be your unintentional teachers of life.

Today on this day, two most influential fathers who are resting in heaven, share something common. S. Azhar Zaidi arrived in this world whereas S.Ahmad Razvi left this world today. I am not writing this to pay any tribute or speak too highly of them. For that their children are good enough examples.

I got to know Azhar uncle because his son and my brother are two inseparable friends. He was known to me as a very placid person. A tall and bearded man with tendered expression to put you at ease right at the time of greeting; he never got me nervous. It was not till he came to stay at our place in his last days before flying to the USA, I observed him closely.

Azhar uncle, as usual, stayed quiet but sweet. He was at a loss of his memory but still he managed to remember me as I was a regular face to him after lunch or at dinner. He used to get his things done from his son while I keep listening to his childhood memories and home town stories. He taught me to be a patient listener with a keen interest in the conversation. Uncle was living in a flashback which made me realize that man remembers only what he enjoyed most when his conscience is unknown, the time of carelessness and being free.

He made me feel important for himself by asking where she is while eating his meal. Watching him going through the ordeal and still at peace was a lesson itself. He made me an accomplished being when I used to bring a smile on his face by consistently listening to him and getting inquisitive.

While he was drifting away, his family hold onto him, I consider him fortunate and well paid for his deeds in this life.

Friendly, humorous, informative, palmist, accomplished naval officer and a businessman, that was Baba, as we all knew him since day one.

Have you ever seen a father who carried an aura around him? I have seen Ahmad's uncle. We could easily share a laugh with him about his son or tease her daughter along with him. I befriended Razvis from the beginning of university time and I don’t regret it. They represented genuine arrogance to teach you a lesson for life. Later, they transform and lift you up to the best because that’s what has been instilled in them by their father.

Ahmad uncle was an exemplary father for every daughter present on earth. He made me experience the respect, love, fulfillment, togetherness, and enrichment of the most sacred relationship, marriage.

Do I need to say more?

I am writing this down to remind myself of the time when I learned how to be a parent to remember. You both are treasured and remembered by the person you least expected.

See you in heaven!!!

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Knowing your Mr.Right

 

I don’t believe much in Mr. Right, since most of them happen to become wrong at some point of life. Since am an announced single and much naïve in knowing men, a friend keeps sharing dating advice with me. The recent one really makes some sense to me so I thought I must distribute it to everyone who is about to fall in a trap or already fallen.

The 5 traits to look for, are essentials indeed.

None of the advice belongs to me or my friend. It’s by dating expert Lisa Steadman.

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Dating Trait #1: He listens to you

The best way to know if Mr. Next is interested in (and worthy of) being a candidate for Mr. Right? He listens to you. You'll know he's listening when he shows genuine concern, consistently remembers things you've told him (your birthday, favorite food, best friend's name, etc.), and offers emotional support in honest and thoughtful ways.

Dating Trait #2: He connects with you easily

We've all been in those relationships that take W-O-R-K (and suck the life force out of us in the process). When a relationship works on its own, it feels effortless, easy, and fluid. You don't have to force anything, forgive anyone, or turn a blind eye to red flags or gut-twisters. Instead, you communicate and collaborate with comfort, compatibility, and undeniable chemistry. If and when you experience this kind of interaction, you are on to something really special.

Dating Trait #3: He wants the real you

So often, women feel the need to sacrifice some part of themselves to make a relationship work. In the right relationship, there's no need. You don't have to hide, tone down, or apologize for any aspect of you or your fabulous life. With the right partner, you're not only able to be yourself, but you're better able to be the best version of your most authentic self -- no compromises needed.

Dating Trait #4: He's trustworthy

A relationship without trust is doomed from the start. But a relationship with abundant trust? A fabulous foundation for real and lasting love! Built over time, trust is based on the simple belief system that your partner has your best interests at heart and will never intentionally hurt you (and vice versa). If and when you discover that Mr. Next is 100 percent trustworthy, you'll have no trouble giving your heart to him. In return, he'll most likely give you his heart and pave the way for a lasting, loving relationship to unfold.

Dating Trait #5: He enriches your life

In the wrong relationship, your partner tears you to emotional shreds, brings you down, and in general drains your energy. In the right relationship, he enriches your life, inspires you to be your best self, and brings a sense of peace and possibility to you. You'll know Mr. Next is enriching your life if and when he encourages and supports you professionally, personally, and spiritually. And when he does, he may just be Mr. Right!

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I value myself !!!

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Lately, I have been trying to freeze the world to avoid interruptions. Sadly, these interruptions don’t let me imagine the frozen world, let alone make it a reality.

Interruptions have variable meaning to everyone. For me, the most annoying disruption is from people who don’t put themselves in other shoes, yet not refrain from passing judgments. These people can be anyone from your family to friends to foes. They step on your feet and tell you it’s not painful at all and you must believe them.

During the last two years, I have learned my lesson a hard way about dealing with social pressures and how to cope up without taking any oral help. From left, right and center I witnessed people putting subliminal force on me for their own interest and in the end leaving it on me to choose. To their surprise, I chose what I wanted instead of giving into theirs.

One thing is for sure, no one can access your worth except your own self. Be it your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, etc, they all see yours through their own eyes and mind. People sometimes look up to me for strength and inspiration because I am a few of the females who stand up and fight for a right granted to them. I make some people jealous too. I am sure, I make them think that they are more miserable because they could not find the courage to come out of that misery.

I tell them it’s you who has to decide and take charge of your life. When all is good in your life, the social circle takes the credit by saying “US” and if it goes another way around, it simply becomes “YOU”. So if in the end, it’s always about you, be it you with whatever you choose not others.

Yesterday, I read a couplet behind a bus saying

Hoti jo muhabbat khoon kay rishton main,

Bikte na Yusuf, Misr kay bazaaron main.

(If there was any love in blood relation,

Prophet Yusuf would not have been sold

in markets of Egypt)

GOD must have sent us to this world to understand our being and value it.

So as long as we are alive, don’t be at others’ mercy, or you will be sold cheap. We cannot get as lucky as Hazrat Yusuf A.S. hence only our strength can lead us to our liberty from society and its unseen/unborn interests.

Whenever I start feeling low and question myself, I remind myself that am HIS creation, hence worth a lot more than anyone else could access.

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Sissy Brothers

MPA Nighat Orakzai offers her duappata (veil) to Shahbaz Sharif after his statement for Taliban.

Speaking at a seminar on Sunday Shahbaz had said,

“Gen Musharraf planned a bloodbath of innocent Muslims at the behest of others only to prolong his rule, but we in the PML-N opposed his policies and rejected dictation from abroad and if the Taliban are also fighting for the same cause then they should not carry out acts of terror in Punjab (where the PML-N is ruling).”

The above statement came after Lahore rocked by Taliban attacks on March 12.

When the time calls for unity on all terms, Mian Shahbaz Sharif igniting people in the name of dictator and provincial difference.

According to SATP, in 2010, Pakistan had 90 bomb blasts incidents out of which only 5 were in Punjab. I think CM Punjab needs to be reminded that Pakistan is not only Punjab but has other provinces and territories as well, which needs security from Taliban. We cannot afford killings in any city, town, or village of Pakistan, let alone Punjab.

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Pyar Aitebaar

To the paths,
We never walked on,
together. 

To destiny,
We never came across,
forever.  

To the trust,
we lost,
we gained in, each other. 

To love,
we found nowhere,
but everywhere.
--Kulsoom B.

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Aids Protection Bill 2010

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Last year, Sindh Assembly passed a resolution urging the government to make tests for Thalassemia, HIV and other diseases “mandatory” for couples before marriage, and we surely heading towards it. 

Earlier this morning, I received a tweet related to Aids Protection Bill in Pakistan, which also suggests including pre-marital HIV test. A sigh of relief came out of me that finally our National Assembly is presenting and passing some of the sensible bills. Recent example is Bill on Sexual Harassment which has dignified the strength of working women.

-->By 2006, Pakistan Government accepted 4,000 cases nationwide where as UN figures are much higher. -->Latest UNICEF figures present higher estimate of infected Pakistani as 150,000 nationwide, out of which 27,000 are the infected mothers. Interesting but alarming fact is that only 0.1% of young people practice prevention from the disease. There are 3% of female who prevent from the disease having comprehensive knowledge where zero% male does that.

I am really looking forward for the acceptance and implementation of Aids Protection, for the sake of saving future generations. Every other day, I see/read reports, stats, and news describing people infected from Aids from their spouses. Women are the direct victims since they have fulfill the sexual needs of a drug addict husband or a husband who slept with another infected women on a foreign trip.

Some cases occur from blood transfusion as well. Many times, men marry despite they know the infection runs in their blood, but they prefer to ruin others rather than surpassing the ego of respect they hold socially. 

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An infected spouse can endanger many lives without realizing the social damage he/she is causing. Aids patients are not seen with much of interest or sympathy in a Pakistani society and are deprived of their basic rights. Despite, NGOs and individuals taking responsibility to promote awareness, they are far behind in compelling people. Our society is yet to build responsible enough for their action and reciprocate. Such bills if implemented can save many of us from entering into a relation known, but disease unknown.

Today, where a country like Nigeria has made pre-marital HIV Test as mandatory, countries like India are still struggling and Pakistan has taken the first step.   Anyways, it’s never too late. 

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P.S. I have suggestion for our NA to pass a bill for checking male fertility before marriage. That too will save many from being thrown out of house or blamed for being infertile, because we still live with a myth that woman is solely liable to bear children, not man.   

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