D for Divorce

Though it’s been a while now I sought divorced, I still keep coming across amusing social norms. Interestingly, they are found not only at home but even the west has its ways to address it.

My first ever amusement was seeing that children after divorce are either considered “issues” or casually called “excess baggage”. I clearly remember how many of those looking-concern aunties told me that am lucky for not having excess baggage with me. I was astonished to know that socially we torment the innocent existence. Wikipedia endorsed my astonishment when I read that Prince William and Prince Harry are not children but “issues” between Diana and Charles.

Almost 3 years ago, when I filed my case I knew am one of those few brave and bold women who dare to initiate this taboo factor. Brave because we know the consequences, and bold because ready to face the world with stigmata. In recent years, Pakistan has seen a high jump in divorce rate after a move made by Muslim Family Courts Amendment Ordinance. Despite, every year the numbers are increasing, we still consider it a taboo and keep hush tones.

In Pakistan, society is above religion and it doesn’t really matter that divorce is allowed by religion. If society considers it a taboo, it is a taboo and you better not challenge it. Though divorces are no more an unusual hearing but still outlawed.

A few days back over the weekend, during a late-night family gossip session, my sister told me that whenever she has to mention the word “divorce” in front of her 9-year-old, she instead use “doctor”. I told her that by now, your son must have known what it is. But her opinion is that “aise alfaaz khule aam istemaal karengay, tau khulay aam hogi” (if we use the word openly, it will happen openly). In short, the word should maintain its forbidden nature.

I fail to understand the shame in being divorced until unless it happened out of a shameful reason. We need to realize that God allows divorce, under severe condition, because He knew that such conditions will be born out of mankind. Unfortunately, mankind is not acceptable as we own small hearts and minds.

Our society tends to ignore the root causes of divorce, instead try to curb it by remaining it a social stigma; a stigma which has a different set of rules for male and female. For this, I need one lengthy post.

I will make sure I teach my children the difference between right and wrong so they know D is Divorce and Doctor both.

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Taliban in Closet

Veena Malik’s appearance on Frontline show has created a storm not only in print media but even at office desks. Holding a morning cup of coffee, I got myself into this raging argument when my colleague said,

“Veena tau wajib-ul-qatal hain. Is ne mulk ka naam badnaam kia hai Hindustan ja kar.”

I snapped him by asking who gave you the right to announce her death penalty and just in case you are thinking that she is bringing down the country then you better re-think. I reminded him to be thankful to 9/11 and Afghan Talibans for reminding west that where does Pakistan exists on the globe.

It was extremely irresponsible on the channel’s part to present such a show with the least relevance to Islam. The entertainment industry has nothing in common with Islam or cannot be brought in victim box for violating it. Then why a Mufti had to raise finger on Veena or describe her beauty as if drooling for it.

After all, Islam doesn’t start or finish at a woman only. But the fundamentalist is keen on proving that all the evils of this country belong to women from Fashion or Entertainment. Islam goes under pile when it comes to providing justice to a rape victim, condemning terrorism or punishing a Molvi for sodomy. These are the same so-called Islamists who take bribes for providing safe harbors to Un-Islamic business.

Pakistan is definitely increasing with the numbers of closeted Talibans. Clean shaved, university graduates can be found favoring Mumtaz Qadri, or denouncing Veena Malik while letching around. The idea of being religious has taken a new turn. To be religious is to be an extremist. Unless you don’t carry violent thoughts and shout out your religious values, you are not considered a good Muslim.

Why we Pakistani Muslims find it so easy to kill anyone in the name of religion. Is Islam all about it?
We have changed the bases of our religion ourselves. Instead of peace, brotherhood, and compassion, we are laying Islam with blood, racism, and intolerance.

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Mola Ali ibn e Abi Talib A.S.

The zeal and virtue of Ali were never outstripped by any recent proselyte. He united the qualifications of a poet, a soldier, and a saint; his wisdom still breathes in a collection of moral and religious sayings; and every antagonist, in the combats of the tongue or of the sword, was subdued by his eloquence and valour. From the first hour of his mission to the last rites of his funeral, the apostle was never forsaken by a generous friend, whom he delighted to name his brother, his vicegerent, and the faithful Aaron of a second Moses."

--- English historian Edward Gibbon

"In my view, ʿAlī was the first Arab to have contact with and converse with the universal soul. He died a martyr of his greatness, he died while prayer was between his two lips. The Arabs did not realise his value until appeared among their Persian neighbors some who knew the difference between gems and gravels"

--- Khalil Gibran

Image Courtesy: Here

"O people, I am a human being. I am about to receive a message from my Lord and I, in response to Allah's call, (would bid good-bye to you), but I am leaving among you two weighty things: the one being the Book of Allah(Qur'an) in which there is right guidance and light, so hold fast to the Book of Allah and adhere to it. He exhorted (us) (to hold fast) to the Book of Allah and then said: The second are the members of my household I remind you (of your duties) to the members of my family."

--- Hadith at Pond of Khumm, Sahih Bukhari, Vol 3, P 5920

Sayings of Mola Ali A.S.

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  “People's hearts are like wild animals. They attach their selves to those that love and train them.”
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  “You [humans] think that you an insignificant, while there is a great universe contained in you.”
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  “Associate with people in such a manner, that they weep for you when you die and long for you if you are alive.”
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  "He who is deserted by friends and relatives will often find help and sympathy from strangers."
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  "One who does not realize his own value is condemned to utter failure. (Every kind of complex, superiority or inferiority is harmful to man)." 

21st Ramadan, 1431 Hijri 

“With him perished the truest hearted and best Muslim of whom Mohammadan history had preserved the remembrance.”

---Robert Durey Osborn (1835-1889) Major of the Bengal Staff Corps.

[Islam Under the Arabs, 1876, p. 120]

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Advocating Fadlallah

Many a times, when people are alive, we don’t get the chance to tell them how do we perceive them or what influence do they have on our lives. So when they pass away, the emotional insurgency takes place, compelling us to let the world know how we feel.



That is what exactly happened when Ayatollah Fadlallah passed away on July 4, 2010.
During his life, Ayatollah Fadlallah considered harbouring Hezbollah and being one of its pioneers. Though, never acknowledged by either of them, any wise man can judge the importance of connection after Ayatollah Fadlallah came under CIA car bomb attack in 1985 which killed around 80 people. A decade later, he was labelled as terrorist by USA.


Modern media claims to be liberal and is permitted with freedom of speech but one of its own Octavia Nasr, who had been with CNN for decades, got fired for paying a tweet homage to Ayatollah. If a person is in media or government, doesn’t mean that they hold no personal opinions. May be they had far different experience than CIA with the labelled terrorist.


Ayatollah Fadlallah has been portrayed more of as an American enemy rather than on his stance against Iran and support on women’s right. His practices were pretty much easier to adopt in common life and speak logic.


A human holds different roles and personalities in one life which defines his character. I am not an authority to judge Ayatollah but am sure he must have had some charm which made CNN’s Octavia Nasr and British Ambassador to Lebanon, Frances Guy to eulogize him.

May you rest in peace.

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Ban Book

And finally the Facebook is banned in Pakistan till May 31st, 2010.

The order came from legislative level nationwide after much hype of created from Pakistani facebookers against "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day". Since morning the news was making rounds and now finally at 5:15 pm, I captured the image on my work desk. 

Hmph, I say we should have ignored these stupid people who are plain attention seekers. But then of all the countries, we pretend to be Muslim's Mecca (Sheikh do you hear me or busy at harem?)

According to my boss, this is a clear conspiracy to keep us away from technology, instead Pakistanis should have created an application or some event where we could draw these Dutch or cartoonists. 

On my end, I think its cruel to me. First Pak. govt. put ban till month end and from June 1st, I will have it ban in my new office. 

Poor me :(



Update May 20:  Wikipedia too is restricted and Facebook banned for indefinite period.

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