Though it’s been a while now I sought divorced, I still keep coming across amusing social norms. Interestingly, they are found not only at home but even the west has its ways to address it.
My first ever amusement was seeing that children after divorce are either considered “issues” or casually called “excess baggage”. I clearly remember how many of those looking-concern aunties told me that am lucky for not having excess baggage with me. I was astonished to know that socially we torment the innocent existence. Wikipedia endorsed my astonishment when I read that Prince William and Prince Harry are not children but “issues” between Diana and Charles.
Almost 3 years ago, when I filed my case I knew am one of those few brave and bold women who dare to initiate this taboo factor. Brave because we know the consequences, and bold because ready to face the world with stigmata. In recent years, Pakistan has seen a high jump in divorce rate after a move made by Muslim Family Courts Amendment Ordinance. Despite, every year the numbers are increasing, we still consider it a taboo and keep hush tones.
In Pakistan, society is above religion and it doesn’t really matter that divorce is allowed by religion. If society considers it a taboo, it is a taboo and you better not challenge it. Though divorces are no more an unusual hearing but still outlawed.
A few days back over the weekend, during a late-night family gossip session, my sister told me that whenever she has to mention the word “divorce” in front of her 9-year-old, she instead use “doctor”. I told her that by now, your son must have known what it is. But her opinion is that “aise alfaaz khule aam istemaal karengay, tau khulay aam hogi” (if we use the word openly, it will happen openly). In short, the word should maintain its forbidden nature.
I fail to understand the shame in being divorced until unless it happened out of a shameful reason. We need to realize that God allows divorce, under severe condition, because He knew that such conditions will be born out of mankind. Unfortunately, mankind is not acceptable as we own small hearts and minds.
Our society tends to ignore the root causes of divorce, instead try to curb it by remaining it a social stigma; a stigma which has a different set of rules for male and female. For this, I need one lengthy post.
I will make sure I teach my children the difference between right and wrong so they know D is Divorce and Doctor both.
2 comments:
A thorny growth in Kulsaazistan - Ouch,,, a cute red drop drips down and the only cure is the flower itself. Nurture it and there will be spring and fresh air to breath in,,,
Quite an optimist:)
But you see thorns are where the flowers are...it comes with the package. I touched upon the thorn, bled, and bandaged.
Its spring somewhere indeed.
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